After Thoughts

I'm realizing the negative attributes Anthropology and research of the contemporary indigenous- moreso the negative affects are seen in my rational of agency. Case in point, art- I'd like to think of myself as an indigenous woman: living to survive, adopting customs that relate environment and culture to person hood, while seeking understanding among-st a generally naive crowd. Naive not in a negative way but naive as In you'd have to be there to understand , this can't be fixed -you can tell a story a million times and people will still be unaware, and besides modern man has no appreciation for storytelling or if they do they do not believe. For when one says story another thinks of fable, and my life beginning from the age of 5 is anything but a fable. So i strive for what to be understood- ni i have been misunderstood by even the greatest of giants so how could understanding help me now? Respect? maybe but that's hard to come by for there is always a chance for disrespect when the rational is involved.

 I am unknown and i fight to keep that, and yet I do not want to be recognized by my racial identity. SO WHAT DO I DO? I do as indigenous man does and save a little for myself, not all has to be explained because not all can be understood. I don't expect even someone of 60+ to understand my life ni those of adolescence ,adulthood ,etc. I think I will in the end be misunderstood because of everyone else expectancy.

Who are they to want anything out of me? I mean I've developed this attitude from a life of giving everything from a life of devout servitude and I've gained nothing. Absolutely nothing and I live for myself i strive to be better for myself- so honestly any expectancy can go to the wind cause i care not for others disappointments or what not.

And honestly I'm over appeasing people irrational requests- be this -do this -act like this
especially in a field that pronounces autonomy.

In my research of Indigenous peoples the European perspective has controlled history, way of life, culture, existence- it's no difference in any other community or field. Those of scholarly background have authority over things which they have no knowledge of- it's of no difference.

Therefore I am Indiguu -a woman of difference and indifference

 Hola all ,

 So I thought this was a pretty cool confirmation that I'm beginning to develop, in myself, the presence of my 

Grandmother. I just recently started talking back to my mother, and every once in a while she will go through my photos remarking on how I've changed or how I remind her of someone. I usually get compared to my aunts because of my temperament or attitudes towards some of her irrational reasoning's. Now more than ever she remarks on how I remind her of her sister Patti, but this time she said “…your Grandmother, my mother…”  and went further on in the album to remark;”.. How she missed her sunshine”.  Which I was as a child, before Life became more apparent and real and deathly unstable. Then I lost my shine. 

 I used just walk in a room laughing, just because I could, and it was sincere and happy and joyful. With every giggle the faces within proximity would always light up, and whatever thoughts, that once crossed their frontal lobe, were then replaced with the chime of my laughter.  Sometimes if I'm really happy I start to light up and you'll even catch my sunshine. Even now, I relish the gold tint I adopt when I'm toasted by the sun, remembering the bright tones of my untarnished pre adolescence. But those are all memories, even now when she makes the comparison of me to my grandmother; it's because of a memory. When there are thoughts that are both beautiful and entrancing, you can't let go. Like watching your mother ritualistically prepare for a date, noting every care because you knew one day that would be you; and you will done the appropriate ornamentation to make your pale white peacock feathers beautiful.

THE CULTURE VULTURE .: FASHION TIPS OF THE DAY

THE CULTURE VULTURE .: FASHION TIPS OF THE DAY: _______________ _______________ _______________ _______________ _______________ _______________ ______________...

Clay Club: Crimson Laurel Gallery :: Kyle Carpenter Exhibit P...

Clay Club: Crimson Laurel Gallery :: Kyle Carpenter Exhibit P...