Hola all ,
So I thought this was a pretty cool confirmation that I'm
beginning to develop, in myself, the presence of my
Grandmother. I just recently started talking
back to my mother, and every once in a while she will go through my photos
remarking on how I've changed or how I remind her of someone. I usually get
compared to my aunts because of my temperament or attitudes towards
some of her irrational reasoning's. Now more than ever she remarks on how I
remind her of her sister Patti, but this time she said “…your Grandmother,
my mother…” and went further on in the
album to remark;”.. How she missed her sunshine”. Which I was as a child,
before Life became more apparent and real and deathly
unstable. Then I lost my shine.
I used just walk in a room laughing,
just because I could, and it was sincere and happy and joyful. With every
giggle the faces within proximity would always light up, and whatever
thoughts, that once crossed their frontal lobe, were then replaced with the
chime of my laughter. Sometimes if I'm
really happy I start to light up and you'll even catch my sunshine. Even now, I
relish the gold tint I adopt when I'm toasted by the sun, remembering the
bright tones of my untarnished pre adolescence. But those are all
memories, even now when she makes the comparison of me to my grandmother;
it's because of a memory. When there are thoughts that are both beautiful
and entrancing, you can't let go. Like watching your mother ritualistically
prepare for a date, noting every care because you knew one day that would be
you; and you will done the appropriate ornamentation to make
your pale white peacock feathers beautiful.
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